A mother’s affection for her children is boundless, and she wishes for them to reciprocate that affection. Roberta’s son, upon his father’s passing, didn’t want his mother to be solitary, so he invited her to reside with him, his spouse, and their kids. Roberta was overjoyed, but she was taken aback by the guidelines set by her daughter-in-law. She recounted her experience to us.

Here’s what she had to say:

“When my son got married, we gifted him our spacious house. Following my husband’s passing, leaving me on my own, my son suggested I move in with them to be closer to my grandchildren. My daughter-in-law consented but made it clear there were conditions.

“First,” she stated calmly yet firmly, “we’ve established a quiet period starting at 8 p.m. each evening. It’s essential for the children’s bedtime routine and our relaxation. That means no TV, staying out of the kitchen, and avoiding any loud disturbances during this time.”

Understanding the value of routines for children, I agreed, though I sensed an underlying strictness to the rule.

“Second,” she pressed on with a steadfast look, “ours is a vegan household. This means absolutely no animal products within the home. If this isn’t something you can adhere to, we’ll have to consider other living arrangements.”

“And finally,” she concluded with a certain finality, “as I’m employed full-time, I could use assistance around the house, particularly with cooking. Since preparing meals is often a challenge with my schedule, I would need you to prepare vegan dishes each evening.” She handed me a cookbook filled with vegan recipes, expecting me to learn and cook from it.

Although I adore my grandchildren, these demands seemed overly harsh and frankly, somewhat offensive. It felt as though I was being treated more like hired help rather than family, expected to perform duties in my own son’s house merely to earn my keep.

Sincerely,
Roberta”