When someone breaks trust in a marriage, it can have serious emotional, psychological, and relational effects that go beyond the act itself. It can make people feel betrayed, hurt, and unsafe. A woman recently reached a turning point in her seven-year marriage. She was dealing with doubts that were raised by her husband’s interactions with his boss. Her choice to reach out online was based on her hope for clarity and help in navigating her difficult situation.

This is what she had to say:

“Hi,

Claire, I’m 32 years old, and I’ve been married to Steve, 30 years old, for 7 years. We have 3 children together. The situation I’m in right now is tough, and I could really use some help. I’ve been uncomfortable with how my husband has been talking to his boss lately, and I’m starting to think he might be cheating on me.

Steve started a new job about a year ago, and he and his boss, Adrian, have been working together since then. At first, I was happy for him that he was getting ahead in his career and ready to help him in any way I could. But as time has gone on, some signs have caught my eye. He said that “urgent meetings” or “projects demanding my attention” were the reason he had to work longer hours and often got home late. What made me feel uneasy was that he started texting his boss more often when the office wasn’t open.

Then, while I was doing the laundry last night, I found a detailed receipt in his blazer pocket for what looked like a fancy dinner for two at a nice restaurant. The receipt’s date was the same as one of the nights he said he was working late with Adrian. When I talked to him about it, he got angry and said I didn’t trust him.

Since then, I haven’t been sure if I should tell him about my suspicions. In some ways, I want to trust him and believe that our marriage is holy. But the evidence points in a different direction. I don’t know whether to confront Steve and put more stress on our relationship, or to keep my suspicions to myself and hope they go away on their own over time. We would really appreciate any help you could give us with this.

Sincerely,
Claire”