Our reader, a 36-year-old man named Sean, wrote to us with a very emotional letter. He told us about a big problem he’s facing in his life. Sean cheated on his wife with one of his clients, and when he finally told his wife about it, he expected a reaction, but not the one he got. Now, he’s feeling lost and doesn’t know what to do next. He’s asking for advice on how to fix things with his family.
Sean had a short-term affair and confessed about his infidelity to his wife.
Sean, who is 36 years old, recently wrote a letter to us explaining his complicated family situation. He was worried about being judged by others but still wanted to get advice from people who care about him and his problem.
In his letter, Sean shared, “My wife Rosa and I have been happily married for 15 years. We’ve faced many challenges together and always found solutions together. We’ve been more than just partners; we’ve been like best friends, trusting each other completely. We’ve never lied or cheated on each other. But recently, everything changed, and our family is falling apart fast.”
Sean admitted, “I did something terrible and wrong—I cheated on my wife with one of my clients. I don’t know why I did it; it’s like my body was acting on its own. I felt guilty and couldn’t bear it anymore, so I ended things with the other person and stopped seeing her. I also stopped working with her as a client and confessed everything to my wife. Since then, I’ve been going to therapy to work on myself.
Sean expected a very emotional reaction from his wife and was partly prepared for it.
Sean admitted, “At first, my wife was really upset and angry. She got really sad and seemed depressed. I was really worried about how she was feeling. I thought there would be a big fight, but I had never seen her so sad before. I begged her not to leave me. I suggested counseling, therapy, and even said she could see other men, but she didn’t want any of that. She just wanted me to leave her alone and give her time to deal with her pain on her own. She said I had to move out and wait until she was ready to talk about our future together.
Sean didn’t argue with his wife’s decision. He wrote, “I packed my things and went to stay with my parents. I called her every day, and she sounded really sad and upset. I could tell she was hurting a lot, and I understood why. She didn’t want any help from me and just kept saying she needed space, so I gave her that.”
One day, the behavior of Sean’s wife totally changed.
Sean wrote, “3 weeks after I told her about cheating, my wife suddenly acted very differently. She called me and asked me to move back home, which I gladly did. She said she wanted to try to fix things between us and became the best wife ever.”
Sean said, “She cooked my favorite meals, left sweet notes, and bought new clothes to look even more attractive to me. But her reactions seemed a bit off. She smiled and thanked me, saying she loved me, but we didn’t really talk about what happened. I was surprised by her change but thought she was just being strong and didn’t want a short mistake to ruin our marriage.”
Sean added, “I didn’t think her behavior was strange, but there was one thing I couldn’t understand. She started seeing a doctor, a gynecologist, very often. It wasn’t for a regular checkup. She had appointments almost every week, and this started right after I told her about cheating.”
Sean was worried about his wife’s health and he confronted her about her frequent appointments with a doctor.
Sean wrote, “I couldn’t stop worrying about my wife’s health. Her frequent visits to the gynecologist made me anxious. I knew she had reproductive issues, which is why we didn’t have kids—or so I thought.”
Sean found out, “When I asked my wife about her health and doctor visits, she smiled and dropped a bombshell: she wasn’t sick, she was pregnant. I was shocked and happy about having a baby. But then she confessed that the baby wasn’t mine. She had an affair, just like I did, and got pregnant by another man. My whole world turned upside down.”
Sean’s wife suggested, “She thought everything was fair and suggested we stay together. She said I could adopt the baby if I wanted to. She hadn’t been in touch with the baby’s biological father and didn’t think he’d want to know about the pregnancy.”
Sean feels broken and confused. He wrote, “I have a feeling the baby is mine and that my wife lied to hurt me, but what if she’s telling the truth? I don’t know what to do.”
