Life can throw us curveballs, and Evie found herself in such a situation. After her miscarriage, she couldn’t stand to see her stillborn baby’s clothes, so she asked her husband to throw them away. What happened next was unexpected, and in her grief, Evie took a surprising step. Even though things eventually turned out well, a year later she still remembers everything clearly and wanted to share what happened with us.
Evie’s letter:
Thank you for reaching out, Evie! We have some advice that might support you as you deal with this matter.
Clear and truthful dialogue.
Have a quiet and private discussion with your husband and mother-in-law. Describe your emotions and the hurt you felt after your miscarriage. Let them know that seeing your sister-in-law’s baby wearing your unborn child’s clothes felt like it disrupted your grieving process. Make it clear that retrieving the clothes is your way of honoring and remembering your stillborn child. This might help them see things from your point of view and could lead to an apology or a resolution.
Get expert advice.
Think about going to couples therapy or family counseling. A professional can help facilitate the discussion between you, your husband, and your mother-in-law. They offer a neutral environment where you can share your feelings, and your family can express their viewpoints. This approach can promote understanding and healing, making it easier for everyone to handle this delicate situation.
Establish a tribute.
Create a special place or set up rituals to remember your stillborn child. This might be a small memorial garden, a unique piece of jewelry, or a yearly observance on your due date. Including your husband in these activities can help him grasp the depth of your loss. Finding alternative ways to honor your child could also make you feel less reliant on the physical clothing items for remembrance.
Establish clear boundaries.
Set clear boundaries about your stillborn child’s belongings. Explain that some items have significant emotional value and should not be used by others. It may also help to establish new family boundaries to avoid similar issues in the future.
Talk with your husband about how to manage sensitive items or memories, ensuring that both of you respect each other’s grieving processes.
Leah faced a challenging situation just six days before her wedding when a family tragedy occurred. Her sister suggested canceling the wedding, but Leah chose to go ahead with it. What unfolded next was both touching and surprising.
Preview photo credit Antoni Shkraba / Pexels
