When a woman found out her husband was planning a surprise birthday party for her, she thought it would be a happy celebration. But what happened that night showed how serious the problems in their relationship were.
She shared her story.
I’m 40 years old, and I’ve been married to my husband Sam, who is 41, for 10 years. We have four children (22, 16, 14, and 11), and until recently, I believed we could get through anything. This isn’t the first problem we’ve had, but it’s the one that broke me.
I recently had a birthday, and Sam planned a surprise party for me. He accidentally told me about it 3 days before, and I thought it was cute that he was so excited that he couldn’t keep it a secret.
I wish that was all, but then he told me I needed to help him clean the house to get it ready for my party. Yes, you heard that right—I had to prepare the food and set up the house for my own party.
I agreed to clean to avoid a fight, but I was upset. On the day of the party, I was heartbroken to find out he didn’t invite most of my friends or family. He said he didn’t know how to contact them.
The last straw was when he brought out a cake in a flavor that he loves, not one I would ever choose. I barely held it together and cried in the bathroom after everyone left.
I felt like an afterthought and hated hearing everyone praise him for throwing the party. I work two jobs, take care of the kids, and handle the cooking, shopping, and most of the housework. I’m exhausted and just wanted to feel appreciated for one day.
Am I wrong for thinking about divorce because I feel he doesn’t care? I can’t imagine ending 10 years of marriage, but I feel broken.
People stood on her side.
- “Tell him, ‘I hope you enjoyed your birthday party, now I don’t have to throw you one when it’s your birthday.’
- “The reason for your divorce isn’t a cake or the party. It’s his self-centeredness. He decided to throw a party. The reason he gave his guests was your birthday, but it was for himself.
He wasn’t excited about the party and told you early, he needed you to clean and organize everything for it. He only invited his friends and family. Ten-plus years in and he can’t contact your friends and family.
He bought his favorite cake. He took all of the accolades and credit. You don’t need someone in your life that has you feeling sad, unworthy, and used.”
- “His excuse that he didn’t contact her family because he didn’t know their contact info is bunk, too. Once he blew the secret so she could clean the house and cook, he could have asked how to contact them then or even asked her to contact them if he hates them.”
