Angela, 33, is happily married to her husband Alex, and they have a wonderful relationship. However, there’s a problem that is troubling their marriage and making Angela think about divorce. She wrote us a letter sharing her story, and what really bothers her is her husband’s strange relationship with his sister-in-law (SIL). Angela asked our readers for advice on her complicated situation.
Angela, a devoted reader, wrote about her tough family issue. She feels she has no one to talk to about her problems with her husband. She worries that her friends and family won’t understand, so she decided to seek opinions online. Angela is looking for good advice, and here’s her story.
She wrote, My husband and I have been happy together for 8 years. This is the best relationship I’ve ever had. Alex is a perfect partner, and we never have problems or fights, except for his brother’s wife. Her name is Ashley, and my husband’s brother, Sam, recently remarried her.
Their relationship has been rocky. They divorced when Alex and I got married nine years ago because Ashley cheated on Sam. He tried to forgive her, but even family counseling didn’t help, and they ended up breaking up and not talking anymore.
I didn’t meet Ashley before she and Sam split up. Recently, they met again and felt a spark, so Sam decided to give their relationship another chance, and they got married again. I first met her just before their second wedding. I really wanted us to be friends, but things went in a different direction.
Angela continues, “The first time I met Ashley, I felt embarrassed. She was wearing a very revealing dress. Alex and I were visiting them, and she came out of the bathroom half-dressed and asked my husband to zip up her dress.
I thought it was inappropriate, but we had just met, so I didn’t say anything. Before I met Ashley, my husband once called her his ‘relationship guru’ and said he told her a lot about our great relationship.
Angela continues, “Since that first meeting, Alex and Ashley’s relationship has been strange. Ashley often makes me uncomfortable. She frequently pulls Alex aside to talk privately. She touches him a lot, and it annoys me that they have inside jokes that I don’t understand. Ashley often makes silly voices for Alex, and they laugh while I sit there feeling foolish. Even though I’m always friendly to her, she acts like I’m not there.
This situation is exhausting. One time, she even complained that in the ‘good old days,’ she and Alex talked every day and were best friends. She said they don’t talk as much now because Alex is married and ‘has obligations.’
Angela wrote, “I’ve talked to Alex about this awkward relationship many times. He keeps saying I’m overreacting and that he’s just being friendly with his brother’s wife. He says he knows how much Sam loves Ashley and wants to help her fit into the family again. Alex claims that by being friendly, he shows Ashley that he forgives her for hurting Sam in the past.
When I asked Alex if he and Ashley had a special relationship before, he said they weren’t friends and that Ashley was exaggerating when she said they used to talk a lot. He said she helped him get over a breakup, but that’s all it was.
But I feel like there’s something wrong between Alex and me, especially with him and Ashley. I’ve even thought it might be emotional cheating, and now I’m thinking about taking a break from my marriage. Sometimes I consider divorce. What should I do?
