A couple’s wedding plans have hit a rough patch due to a sensitive issue. The groom-to-be is upset because his fiancée wants to include photos of her late husband at their wedding. She sees it as a way to honor her past, but he struggles with having the memory of another man on their special day.
The man shared his story:
My fiancée and I have been together for about 3 years and got engaged 6 months ago.
While planning, she asked me, “Where should we put a picture of my late husband?” I was confused and asked her to explain.
She said she wanted a photo of her late husband at the wedding. She went on to say she wants a bridesmaid to hold his picture during the ceremony, to have his photo on our table, and to hold his picture in most of the wedding photos.
I told her I didn’t want that. While I know he’s important to her, I felt uncomfortable having his photos so prominently at our wedding.
We argued, and she yelled, “I can’t believe you’re jealous! He’s dead!”
I decided to postpone the wedding, and honestly, I’m thinking of canceling it altogether.
People stood on his side.
- “Ok…I’m a widow of 12 years and this just isn’t right. I understand she may want a memory of him with her but…pictures of him in pictures of you two are just wrong on many levels!! There are many inconspicuous ways of having him with her.
You are 100% right about postponing your wedding and possibly canceling it too. My thoughts are she isn’t ready to move on yet. Why, I don’t know, she needs some counseling to find out or some deep soul-searching.”
- “She’s going overboard, and the symbolism is not good. She has to have ’a place’ for him, that’s understandable. But there are two stars at the wedding, not three.
This is not about jealousy. It is not about minimizing permanent grief. It’s about if your wife has the capacity to marry you.”
- The symbolism makes it seem like a renewal of vows with OP as a stand-in.
