I Refused to Give My Late Wife’s Clothes to My Sister

Family arguments can get worse during hard times, especially when emotions are strong. In this story, a man refuses to give his late wife’s clothes to his sister because his wife wanted them to go to charity. The fact that his sister didn’t help during his wife’s illness made things even more difficult.

The man shared his story:

My wife was a corporate lawyer and mediator. She had very nice work clothes. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and passed away after two years. The last six months of her life were really hard. My sister Sarah did nothing to help us during that time.

My wife never liked Sarah. I don’t like her either because she’s selfish. At my wife’s wake, Sarah asked about my wife’s clothes, but I ignored her. She said she wanted a few things to remember my wife by, but I didn’t respond.

Six months later, I went to my mom’s birthday, but I still didn’t feel like dealing with people. Sarah asked me again about my wife’s clothes.

I told her that my wife wanted me to donate them to a women’s shelter she used to help. The clothes would help women who need them for court or job interviews.

Sarah said my wife was selfish even after death. I asked her what she meant, and she started talking about how my wife always thought she was better than her. She said it wasn’t fair that the clothes were going to charity and not to family.

I told Sarah I’d rather burn my wife’s clothes than give them to her. She started crying, and my mom came over to see what happened. My mom told me to go easy on Sarah because she was struggling with my wife’s death.

Hearing that from my mom made me grab my things and leave. My mom acted like I ruined her birthday by being dramatic, but I couldn’t believe they were trying to guilt me over clothes that they have no right to.

People took his side.

Besides the fact that you’re following your wife’s wishes, your sister is acting like a vulture. Why is your mother worrying about your sister taking your wife’s death hard when you were the one who lost their wife?
So, no, you are doing nothing wrong. You are still grieving, your sister is treating you like a thrift store, and your mother is completely ignoring your grief because another family member is better at being dramatic.

It’s your wife, how dare Sarah mention it at the funeral. Entirely selfish, classless and callous to your pain. And then to bring it up again and say it’s to remember your wife by!
She doesn’t care about your wife and never did. And then to insult your wife by calling her selfish. Your mom is also a problem. You should reevaluate why they’re in your life and if they deserve to be.

Who would begrudge clothes being given to women in need who are trying to get their lives on track? Sarah, that’s who. And your mom tells you that Sarah is taking your wife’s death hard? Umm, what with family like that, who needs enemies?
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and hope you have people in your circle who treat you a whole lot better. I’m sorry for your loss.

Your sister is being manipulative, though it’s hard to see if her behavior is driven by jealousy or pure greed. I’d be willing to bet she just wants to find any expensive pieces to sell. Sounds like your mother is suffering from some sort of Stockholm syndrome dealing with your sister. I’m sorry, this is what your relationship with your family looks like.