Parenting means giving our best to raise our children, making sacrifices for their happiness. But as they grow, they make choices that may not match what we hope for. This can make us feel unvalued for all we’ve done. Recently, a father felt hurt when his daughter chose her stepdad over him to walk her down the aisle. Shocked and saddened, he’s considering how to react to this situation.
He wrote,
“I (46M) have one daughter (26F). Her mother (my ex-wife) left when she was 7 but returned when she was 15, wanting to rebuild their relationship. My daughter gave it a chance, and she grew close to her new stepdad. He’s a cool guy who shares her interests like hockey and plays guitar, just like her. I was glad she was bonding with him and her mom.
Now, my daughter is getting married soon to her fiancé (30M) after dating for 4 years. I contributed $25,000 to the wedding, as did her mom. But as the wedding day nears, she told me she chose her stepdad to walk her down the aisle because they’ve ‘bonded a lot.’ Despite my shock, I didn’t react.
He added,
“But I have a plan. On the wedding day, I won’t attend at all because I can’t accept being disrespected like this. If she wants to have a happy family with her mom who left her for 8 years, that’s fine, but count me out.
It wasn’t them who attended all her hockey games. It wasn’t them who paid for her tutoring. It wasn’t them who worked three jobs until she was 17 to support us both through financial hardship… And it wasn’t them who celebrated all her milestones. It was ME!
I won’t tell my daughter that I’m skipping her big day. I just won’t show up!”
Other Redditors shared their opinions, some supporting his decision and others criticizing him for not discussing it with his daughter beforehand.
As someone who grew up similarly, I can’t even imagine. My grandparents practically raised me because my biological parents were incompetent. I still have a relationship with all of them, but when the time comes, my grandpa will walk me down the aisle.
I refuse to credit my biological parents for what my grandparents did, and they understand that I see them as my real parents. When my mom returned to the state when I turned 18 and tried to act like a parent after being gone for 15 years… I couldn’t imagine abandoning my grandma and forgetting everything she did for me!
