When it comes to deeply personal things like a partner’s fertility, being lied to in a relationship can have big and long-lasting effects. When trust is broken in a close relationship, it can cause a lot of emotional pain and weaken the relationship itself. A heartbreaking example came up recently on Reddit, where a husband talked about how terrible it was to find out his wife had been cheating on him for years.
What he wrote:
“My wife Natalie (F, 37) and I have been together for 8 years and have been married for 4 years.” Natalie is married to someone else and has a daughter named Kaya (F, 12). The father of Kaya left when she was very young. We don’t know where he is.
I love her like she’s mine. I’m really close to her and she calls me “Dad.” Since the beginning, I’ve told Natalie that I want to have biological children. She has said she’s okay with having more children. We got married, bought a nice house, and then started trying to have a child.
He also said:
“After a year of failed attempts, we were tested and found that both of our bodies were functioning normally.” But since conception hasn’t happened naturally, we may now look into IVF as a way to get pregnant. My wife told me the treatment would cost too much and be too hard on her body. I felt really sad at the time, but I eventually accepted that I will never have biological children.
That is, until Natalie’s sister told me a few days ago that Natalie lied to me! A fight broke out between her and her sister at our house. Her sister yelled, “At least I don’t take birth control pills behind my husband’s back and say I can’t have children!” Also, does he know that you’ve had an abortion? I was shocked. My wife threw her sister out and broke down in tears, saying she didn’t want another child and didn’t want to lose me.
What else did he say?
“I’m shocked that she lied to me instead of talking to me! I’ve already left! After that, I stayed at my parents’ house. Natalie asks me to come back and says we can try to have a child. Kaya told me through a message to come back!
They believe I should forget about her and give her another chance. She said she was sorry for what she did. However, I can no longer trust her and I want to end our marriage.
To be fair, I do think women should be in charge of their bodies, and I support abortion. But this time it’s different! She lied to me. I was finally able to hold my child. Before a few days ago, I didn’t know that she doesn’t want any more children. It was an abortion 1.5 years after we got married. Yes, it was MY BABY!”
